Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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