Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
