Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize