I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
