I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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