i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
