matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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