nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
