i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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