You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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