Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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