I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize