he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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