I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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