Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
