bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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