oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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