i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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