everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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