Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
