Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize