gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
