I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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