so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
