It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
