and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
