I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
