now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My hand turned me down
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
