why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
