sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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