I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
