She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize