HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
