I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
