i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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