On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
