Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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