i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
