it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
