its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize