she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
