You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
