Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
