I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
