Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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