dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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