Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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