TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
