nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
