So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
