I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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