I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
