I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
