Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
