you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
