I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
