i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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