I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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