Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
