i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
