when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We need a shit load of segways right now
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
